everyone will get everything out of their system.

human sensitivity decreases relative to sugar consumption.

photos of ice cream rally the internet

the subcutaneous becomes mucilaginous; soft particles dominate the periphery.

everyone sleeps soundly.

love becomes a distant concept; will is overcome by sets of mysterious actions; pointless, aimless, directionless, and lovely.

cat videos continue streaming.

women in California amputate their toes.

everyone is famous, no one is famous

migraines, panic attacks, and hypersexuality are on the rise, as is a distant hum enshrouding all human affairs, a delicate promise that all will resolve as it should.

outrage outgrows itself and becomes submissive.

bubble wrap is on the decline.

everyone will forget your birthday.

everyone meaning everyone.

the slogan, “all for one and one for all” regains popularity.

plastic knives are banned

simultaneously, no one asks questions.

packing peanuts are banned.

peanuts are banned.

no one talks about peanuts, anymore.

average consumption of salt increases.

almond sales skyrocket.

the taxation of macadamia nuts, or Maca-Tax.  .

Arachibutyrophobia, or fear of butter.