How are you doing?  Are you Incarcerated? Are you comforted? Saving to buy a new Mac? I want to know what you know.  I want to explain your throat and expiate as you aspirate. I want your lungs inside my fingers.  

I want to share a very good moment with you.  Perhaps we save a turtle in the road. Perhaps we lay adjacent in the sum of impossible silence. As we do this you explain the doing, all of it, and this resonates over and over and in twenty years I give you a kidney, simply because I like you and we never had sex, leaving transplantation as the only remaining option.  

The point is I am interested in reviewing/embracing/expounding your albums, released now or behind.  This may be performed in a statistically standard fashion; an allusion to you/your ensemble as a person/entity, followed by your motives/techniques, concluding with my hopefully positive thoughts as to how the work references a larger musical dialogue and/or canonizes itself. If this bores your face off do not fret.  I will be equally happy to write with the utmost spontaneity, reflecting and inhabiting your sounds as only another musician can.  I am also equally very happy to work with you in a purely experimental context.  I will review your album as a diner menu qua soliloquy.  I will write it in Old English.  (Seriously I will learn Old English for you).  Etc.  

Spread the word for me, as I only exist in Facebook.  I will write for free.  You can use the words however you see fit.  Post them someplace, wipe your ass with them.  If the project takes off I’ll build a website dedicated to it all.   A nice one, this time no cats.